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WHAT IS ABUSE
Domestic violence comes in many forms, (also named domestic abuse, battering, or family violence) is a pattern of behavior which involves violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation. It may be termed intimate partner violence when committed by a spouse or partner in an intimate relationship against the other spouse or partner, and can take place in heterosexual or same-sex relationships, or between former spouses or partners. Domestic violence may also involve violence against children or the elderly. It takes a number of forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, economic, religious, reproductive, and sexual abuse. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused or denied. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of abuse is the first step to getting help. If you identify yourself or someone you know in the following signs and descriptions of abuse please seek help.
Signs of an abusive relationship
Threatening You - Saying he will do something to hurt you or saying he will leave you, kill himself or harm your children.
Forcing you to drop legal charges against him or coercing you into doing something illegal.
Using Children - Causing you to feel guilty about your children, relaying messages to you through your children, harassing you during visitations or saying he will take your children away.
Intimidating You - Using facial expressions and gestures that cause fear, destroying things and showing you weapons.
Emotionally Abusing You - Causing you to feel sad, unworthy or guilty. Calling you names, saying that you're crazy, using mind games and doing things to humiliate you.
Isolating You - Controlling what you do, who you see and speak to, what you read and where you go.
Minimizing the Abuse - Calling you a cry baby, telling others the abuse didn't happen and blaming you for his abusive behavior.
Using Male Privilege - Not allowing you to make any big decisions, acting like the "master of the house" and defining his role as superior to yours.
Economically Abusing You - Not allowing you to have a job, not allowing you to have your own bank account, your "allowance" is the only access you have to money.
Physical Abuse - Punching, slapping, pinching, spitting on you, chocking, pushing, shoving you.
Sexual Abuse - Forcing or manipulating you for sex, threatening to or having an affair, pornography abuse.
Additional Links and Resources
BC Society of Transition Houses (BCSTH)
BCSTH offers contact services and support services for transition houses and safe housing across British Columbia
Ending Violence Association of BC (EVA BC)
Ending Violence Association of BC offers information on anti-violence programs and works to coordinate and support the work of victim-serving and other anti-violence programs in British Columbia.
VictimLinkBC is a toll-free, confidential, multilingual telephone service available across B.C. and the Yukon 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It provides information and referral services to all victims of crime and immediate crisis support to victims of family and sexual violence, including victims of human trafficking exploited for labour or sexual services.
Healthlinke BC offers contact information for different resources you may need depending on your own situation.
Canadian Resource Center for Victims of Crime
CRCVC offers site references for many different resources across Canada.
Please seek help right away if you or someone you know identifies with any of the descriptions above